Reformation in the Family, pt. 2 | Reforming Fatherhood
Senior Pastor Heather Schott
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If you would like to learn more about our culture, how you connect with God, get plugged into community and begin your journey to encountering God daily, MC Connect is your next step!
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Welcome to Mercy Culture Church!
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We are so excited you're here.
Text NEW to 59090 so we can connect with you.
For everyone that texts NEW, we will donate $10 to The Justice Reform, an organization that is answering the cry for justice by bringing reformation from city to city.
June is no longer Pride Month, it is now LIFE MONTH!
Every June, we will celebrate what the Lord has done in the overturning of Roe v. Wade, a death decree over America…and we are just getting started. Abortion is not a political issue, it is a spiritual issue.
No longer will we sit in silence while the world promotes June as Pride Month over our children, cities and Nation. We seek justice for babies’ lives! We believe adoption is the solution to abortion as we march for LIFE.
We will celebrate LIFE until we see our culture reformed to a pro-life culture. This is the hill we die on!
Text LIFE to 59090 to be a part of it.
Every June, we will celebrate what the Lord has done in the overturning of Roe v. Wade, a death decree over America…and we are just getting started. Abortion is not a political issue, it is a spiritual issue.
No longer will we sit in silence while the world promotes June as Pride Month over our children, cities and Nation. We seek justice for babies’ lives! We believe adoption is the solution to abortion as we march for LIFE.
We will celebrate LIFE until we see our culture reformed to a pro-life culture. This is the hill we die on!
Text LIFE to 59090 to be a part of it.
We are calling the Reformers to arise to be people of faith and action as we answer the cry for reformation in every sphere of influence.
You can expect to encounter God and hear from leading reformers such as Pastors Landon and Heather Schott, Lou Engle, Jaco Booyens, and many more.
Text REFORMATION to 59090 or click here thereformationconference.com to get your tickets.
You can expect to encounter God and hear from leading reformers such as Pastors Landon and Heather Schott, Lou Engle, Jaco Booyens, and many more.
Text REFORMATION to 59090 or click here thereformationconference.com to get your tickets.
We are calling the body of Christ — every church, all sons and daughters — to meet on June 23, to march and pray for every state to turn towards LIFE! March with us in Fort Worth, Waco + Dallas, Texas on June 23!
Text LIFE to 59090 or visit citizensforlife.com/march to register now.
Text LIFE to 59090 or visit citizensforlife.com/march to register now.
Cards
To reform fatherhood, you must first reform yourself!
The world knows if they win over the fathers, they have an open door to children!
4 Pillars to Freedom
1. Expose
1. Expose
Ephesians 5:5-11
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5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure, or greedy person (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light,
9 for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth.
10 Test and prove what pleases the Lord.
11 Have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light,
9 for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth.
10 Test and prove what pleases the Lord.
11 Have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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It takes courage to expose sin! Yet, when you realize it’s not you getting exposed, it’s you exposing the works of the enemy/darkness so you are no longer a slave to demons!
Every time we have exposed sin, temptation, spiritual warfare out loud to one another, our marriage has grown stronger!
Every time we have exposed sin, temptation, spiritual warfare out loud to one another, our marriage has grown stronger!
PRACTICAL ADVICE
Expose sin to your spouse first!
Expose sin to your spouse first!
Spouse, you must be submitted to the Lord and trusting of the Lord in moments your spouse or your children come to expose the works of the enemy! If you trust the Lord, you trust the Lord with the outcome! You may feel pain in the moment, but set your eyes on the Lord, trusting Him with what healing and freedom will look like!
WARNING
Getting caught and exposing sin are very different!
Don’t wait to get caught. Flee from it and expose it!
The response should be different to someone who is caught in sin vs someone that is exposing it!
If your spouse or child comes exposing sin, partner with them in their war against darkness! Partner with them in their courage to shine light in darkness, in their fight for freedom!
Getting caught and exposing sin are very different!
Don’t wait to get caught. Flee from it and expose it!
The response should be different to someone who is caught in sin vs someone that is exposing it!
If your spouse or child comes exposing sin, partner with them in their war against darkness! Partner with them in their courage to shine light in darkness, in their fight for freedom!
To the person exposing sin: realize what you are about to say will bring emotions to others that love you. Be patient with their response, with their healing process and be sold out to building trust back!
Be more authentic and vulnerable than ever! Don’t be isolated. Expose consistently! Expose sin and temptation to healthy relationships around you for accountability!
The attention you use to give to darkness, now shift your attention to encounters with Jesus, worship and prayer, His word and your family!
Be more authentic and vulnerable than ever! Don’t be isolated. Expose consistently! Expose sin and temptation to healthy relationships around you for accountability!
The attention you use to give to darkness, now shift your attention to encounters with Jesus, worship and prayer, His word and your family!
4 Pillars to Freedom
2. Repent
2. Repent
Acts 3:19
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19 Repent, then, and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped away,
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Repentance is easy and ushers in the presence of the Lord!
Fathers, lead in repentance!
Fathers, lead in repentance!
4 Pillars to Freedom
3. Be grateful
3. Be grateful
James 1:17
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17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, with whom there is no change or shifting shadow.
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When you operate in gratitude it will shift your perspectives, propel your faith and restore your joy!
Psalm 126:1-3
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1 When the LORD restored the captives of Zion, we were like dreamers.
2 Then our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with shouts of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”
3 The LORD has done great things for us; we are filled with joy.
2 Then our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with shouts of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”
3 The LORD has done great things for us; we are filled with joy.
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Psalm 118:1
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1 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His loving devotion endures forever.
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Be thankful for what God has given you! Your wife is a gift! Your children are agift! Your family is a gift from the Lord!
Proverbs 18:22
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22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.
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4 Pillars to Freedom
4. Love well
4. Love well
Ephesians 5:1-2
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1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as beloved children,
2 and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrificial offering to God.
2 and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrificial offering to God.
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Ephesians 5:25-33
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25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
30 For we are members of His body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
30 For we are members of His body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
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Do you understand how high this standard is???
Ephesians 5:25-26
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25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
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Husbands:
The Bible says: Love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her! And this love, this is what sanctifies her, transforms her, makes her new, and redeems her!
Loving your spouse in their worst moments will heal your marriage and heal your family!
The Bible says: Love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her! And this love, this is what sanctifies her, transforms her, makes her new, and redeems her!
Loving your spouse in their worst moments will heal your marriage and heal your family!
Wives:
The Bible says: Respect your husband.
Respect
Greek. Phobeó = TO REVERENCE, OR PUT YOUR AWE IN HIM!
Have you lost your gratefulness for him? Have you lost your reverence for him?
Do you prefer him over yourself? Do you still desire to care for him, serve him, encourage him, honor him, LOVE HIM not when he’s perfect, when HE NEEDS IT!?
Humility is strength and pride is weakness!
The Bible says: Respect your husband.
Respect
Greek. Phobeó = TO REVERENCE, OR PUT YOUR AWE IN HIM!
Have you lost your gratefulness for him? Have you lost your reverence for him?
Do you prefer him over yourself? Do you still desire to care for him, serve him, encourage him, honor him, LOVE HIM not when he’s perfect, when HE NEEDS IT!?
Humility is strength and pride is weakness!
Colossians 3:12-15
BSB
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
13 Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.
13 Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.
BSB
Women:
Your words are powerful to him! They will either build up your house and tear it down!
Your words are powerful to him! They will either build up your house and tear it down!
Proverbs 14:1
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1 Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.
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1 Peter 4:8
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8 Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
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Personal reformation leads to reformation in your home!
WARNING
Christian dads: Don’t let a worldly man lead his family better than you!
Christian dads: Don’t let a worldly man lead his family better than you!
4 Pillars to Fathering
1. Protect
1. Protect
Nehemiah 4:14-16
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14 After I had made an inspection, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials, and the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
15 When our enemies heard that we were aware of their scheme and that God had frustrated it, each of us returned to his own work on the wall.
16 And from that day on, half of my servants did the work while the other half held spears, shields, bows, and armor. The officers stationed themselves behind all the people of Judah
15 When our enemies heard that we were aware of their scheme and that God had frustrated it, each of us returned to his own work on the wall.
16 And from that day on, half of my servants did the work while the other half held spears, shields, bows, and armor. The officers stationed themselves behind all the people of Judah
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The enemy fears your fear of the Lord that protects your family! He cannot penetrate that!
Proverbs 14:26
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26 He who fears the LORD is secure in confidence, and his children shall have a place of refuge.
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Your fear of the Lord secures your family’s safety!
You protect what you see value in! If you have stopped valuing your marriage, if you have stopped valuing your family, the gifts God has given you… you will stop protecting it!
You protect what you value! Do you value your marriage and family?
You protect what you value! Do you value your marriage and family?
4 Pillars to Fathering
2. Discipline
2. Discipline
PRACTICAL ADVICE
Many fathers that don’t want to have to discipline, instead use intimidation and threats as tactics. DO NOT DO THIS!
Mothers, do not do this! Your kids should trust you, which means when you say don’t do that again, or else… the “or else,” better happen!
Don’t threaten and not follow through!
Give a warning and then follow through. This actually builds healthy trust with everyone in your home, that mom and dad keep their word!
This creates a culture of honor, when they can trust their father in the home! You cannot demand honor with kids, it comes through trust and trust comes from you following through with what you said you would do and that includes discipline when its necessary.
Many fathers that don’t want to have to discipline, instead use intimidation and threats as tactics. DO NOT DO THIS!
Mothers, do not do this! Your kids should trust you, which means when you say don’t do that again, or else… the “or else,” better happen!
Don’t threaten and not follow through!
Give a warning and then follow through. This actually builds healthy trust with everyone in your home, that mom and dad keep their word!
This creates a culture of honor, when they can trust their father in the home! You cannot demand honor with kids, it comes through trust and trust comes from you following through with what you said you would do and that includes discipline when its necessary.
Proverbs 3:11-12
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11 My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD, and do not loathe His rebuke;
12 for the LORD disciplines the one He loves, as does a father the son in whom he delights.
12 for the LORD disciplines the one He loves, as does a father the son in whom he delights.
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If our Heavenly Father is perfect, and He disciplines those He loves, then why would you not be disciplining your children if you truly love them?
Ephesians 6:4
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4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
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PRACTICAL ADVICE
- Bring loving discipline | After the disciplinary moment; have a conversation with them to explain what they did wrong, why this hurts everyone’s heart, and why it's not okay. The “why’s” share HEART, when their heart understands what they did wrong, their actions will follow! But if you are trying to control actions and never take the time to lead them into a heart change, the wrong actions will continue!
- Stay consistent and stay patient | Lead them better than your companies lead them, lead them better than your co-workers, teach them life principles better that you do others in your life! Be more passionate about investing into your children!
- When you mess up |Which you will and probably have more than done it right… humble yourself and repent to them! This models beautiful biblical life principles to your children because they will mess up! If they see you respond when you make mistakes in humility and repentance, they will probably grow up responding to mistakes in humility and repentance. If you respond in pride, yelling and isolation by taking off when you mess up, your children will probably also respond that way. You are teaching them so much by the way you live your life, they are watching the way you talk to their mom, the way you to talk to that waiter you are frustrated with, the way you treat them when they do wrong… this is all a training ground for them!
- Bring loving discipline | After the disciplinary moment; have a conversation with them to explain what they did wrong, why this hurts everyone’s heart, and why it's not okay. The “why’s” share HEART, when their heart understands what they did wrong, their actions will follow! But if you are trying to control actions and never take the time to lead them into a heart change, the wrong actions will continue!
- Stay consistent and stay patient | Lead them better than your companies lead them, lead them better than your co-workers, teach them life principles better that you do others in your life! Be more passionate about investing into your children!
- When you mess up |Which you will and probably have more than done it right… humble yourself and repent to them! This models beautiful biblical life principles to your children because they will mess up! If they see you respond when you make mistakes in humility and repentance, they will probably grow up responding to mistakes in humility and repentance. If you respond in pride, yelling and isolation by taking off when you mess up, your children will probably also respond that way. You are teaching them so much by the way you live your life, they are watching the way you talk to their mom, the way you to talk to that waiter you are frustrated with, the way you treat them when they do wrong… this is all a training ground for them!
Proverbs 22:6
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6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
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WARNING
Mothers, don’t stop your husbands from disciplining your children!
A lack of consistent discipline in the home will create rebellious and wayward children! If you truly love your children, you will discipline your children and mothers you will support it!
Mothers, don’t stop your husbands from disciplining your children!
A lack of consistent discipline in the home will create rebellious and wayward children! If you truly love your children, you will discipline your children and mothers you will support it!
4 Pillars to Fathering
3. Be present
Provide your presence more than money!
3. Be present
Provide your presence more than money!
Provision is more than paying the bills.
PRACTICAL ADVICE
Use your commute time home to finish last minute calls and decompress from your day. Pray and ask the Lord to help you transition from financial provider to presence provider when you walk into that house.
Turn off that phone when you walk over the threshold of your front door.
Or after a certain time, its off for the rest of the evening.
It's possible to be in the home and not present!
PRACTICAL ADVICE
Use your commute time home to finish last minute calls and decompress from your day. Pray and ask the Lord to help you transition from financial provider to presence provider when you walk into that house.
Turn off that phone when you walk over the threshold of your front door.
Or after a certain time, its off for the rest of the evening.
It's possible to be in the home and not present!
1 Timothy 5:8
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8 If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
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Providing for your family does not give you the right to be absent from your family!
Romans 13:14
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14 Instead, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.
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Provision is preparation!
Provision
The act of providing, or making previous preparation; that which is provided or prepared
Provision
The act of providing, or making previous preparation; that which is provided or prepared
Mark 6:30-44
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30 Meanwhile, the apostles gathered around Jesus and brought Him news of all they had done and taught.
31 And He said to them, “Come with Me privately to a solitary place, and let us rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.
32 So they went away in a boat by themselves to a solitary place.
33 But many people saw them leaving and recognized them. They ran together on foot from all the towns and arrived before them.
34 When Jesus stepped ashore and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And He began to teach them many things.
35 By now the hour was already late. So the disciples came to Jesus and said, “This is a desolate place, and the hour is already late.
36 Dismiss the crowd so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”
37 But Jesus told them, “You give them something to eat.” They asked Him, “Should we go out and spend two hundred denarii to give all of them bread to eat?”
38 “Go and see how many loaves you have,” He told them. And after checking, they said, “Five—and two fish.”
39 Then Jesus directed them to have the people sit in groups on the green grass.
40 So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties.
41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, Jesus spoke a blessing and broke the loaves. Then He gave them to His disciples to set before the people. And He divided the two fish among them all.
42 They all ate and were satisfied,
43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.
44 And there were five thousand men who had eaten the loaves.
31 And He said to them, “Come with Me privately to a solitary place, and let us rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.
32 So they went away in a boat by themselves to a solitary place.
33 But many people saw them leaving and recognized them. They ran together on foot from all the towns and arrived before them.
34 When Jesus stepped ashore and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And He began to teach them many things.
35 By now the hour was already late. So the disciples came to Jesus and said, “This is a desolate place, and the hour is already late.
36 Dismiss the crowd so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”
37 But Jesus told them, “You give them something to eat.” They asked Him, “Should we go out and spend two hundred denarii to give all of them bread to eat?”
38 “Go and see how many loaves you have,” He told them. And after checking, they said, “Five—and two fish.”
39 Then Jesus directed them to have the people sit in groups on the green grass.
40 So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties.
41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, Jesus spoke a blessing and broke the loaves. Then He gave them to His disciples to set before the people. And He divided the two fish among them all.
42 They all ate and were satisfied,
43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.
44 And there were five thousand men who had eaten the loaves.
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It takes preparation to become a good provider!
- To be a good provider like Jesus, you must know “the provider” Jehovah Jireh! This is preparation to be a good provider!
- This happens through daily encounters! Daily encounters aren’t just for women and children, they’re also for men! They’re for protectors and providers; they are for fathers!
- This type of provider not only provides nourishment, food, stability, a roof over your kids' heads, but prepares himself to be able to provide: love, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Spiritual provision: Fruit of the Spirit!
- A worldly father can provide for his family and pay bills, but a godly father provides so much more than financial stability, He produces and provides good fruit in his home!
- Provision comes because you trust the Lord as your provider! A great provider knows he’s not great, but he knows the Great Provider, Jehovah Jireh!
- This happens through daily encounters! Daily encounters aren’t just for women and children, they’re also for men! They’re for protectors and providers; they are for fathers!
- This type of provider not only provides nourishment, food, stability, a roof over your kids' heads, but prepares himself to be able to provide: love, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Spiritual provision: Fruit of the Spirit!
- A worldly father can provide for his family and pay bills, but a godly father provides so much more than financial stability, He produces and provides good fruit in his home!
- Provision comes because you trust the Lord as your provider! A great provider knows he’s not great, but he knows the Great Provider, Jehovah Jireh!
Proverbs 3:9-10
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9 Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your harvest;
10 then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will overflow with new wine.
10 then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will overflow with new wine.
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A good provider trusts in the Lord!
Acts 3:20
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20 that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that He may send Jesus, the Christ, who has been appointed for you.
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Refreshing comes from the Father’s presence! Fathers, invite the presence of the Lord into your home and be present because your presence refreshes your family!
Be present with your spouse and children!
Be present with your spouse and children!
4 Pillars to Fathering
4. Love well
4. Love well
Ephesians 4:2-3
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2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
3 and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
3 and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
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Colossians 3:12-15
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12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
13 Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.
13 Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.
BSB
Don’t waste time in life when life is short not loving one another!
James 4:14
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14 You do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
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What do you need to expose? What do you need to repent for?
How can you love your spouse greater?
How can you love your children greater?
Exchange shame for forgiveness!
Exchange ego for love!
Exchange pressure for freedom!
Pray:
Lord, teach me how to love like you love!
How can you love your spouse greater?
How can you love your children greater?
Exchange shame for forgiveness!
Exchange ego for love!
Exchange pressure for freedom!
Pray:
Lord, teach me how to love like you love!
1 John 4:16
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16 And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
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