Hugs, Hopes, & Holy Matrimony: Keeping Love Alive
A peek into the beautiful, messy, and sometimes hilarious journey of keeping our marriage not just surviving, but thriving, with a little faith and a whole lot of grace.
Oh, sweet friends, isn't marriage a beautiful, wild ride? We stand there on our wedding day, starry-eyed and full of hopes, imagining a life of endless romance and perfectly folded laundry. And then, well, then life happens. The kids arrive, the bills pile up, and sometimes, you realize you've spent the last three days communicating only through grocery lists and grunts about who left the toothpaste uncapped.
But here's the thing: the everydayness, the beautiful mess of it all – that's where the real love story is written. It’s not always grand gestures; it's often the quiet moments, the choosing to show up even when you're exhausted, and the shared laughter over something completely silly. My husband and I have learned a lot (and are still learning!) about keeping our "forever love" not just surviving, but truly thriving, even amidst the chaos of family life.
Let's be real, there are days when the closest we get to a romantic moment is one of us silently handing the other a cup of coffee. Or worse, the "silent treatment" makes an unwelcome appearance. We've all been there. What I've learned, often the hard way, is that these aren't moments to shut down, but opportunities to lean in, even if it feels clunky.
Sometimes it's taking a walk together without talking, just being present. Other times, it's me humbly saying, "Hey, I'm feeling a little off today, and it's not you, it's just me." Or a simple, "I love you even when you're being a little grumpy pants." It’s about remembering that the person across from you is your teammate, not your opponent. We’re both just trying our best, often on too little sleep and too much caffeine.
13 Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.
Date nights. Oh, how I used to romanticize them! Candlelit dinners, deep conversations, holding hands. Now, our "date nights" often involve waiting until the kids are finally asleep, ordering takeout, and binging a show on Netflix. Sometimes, we even manage to say more than five complete sentences to each other without interruption! It’s not always glamorous, but it’s intentional time.
We've had our share of hilariously failed date nights, too. Once, we tried to have a romantic picnic in the living room after bedtime, only for our toddler to wake up screaming about a "monster under the bed" (it was a shadow). We ended up all squished on the sofa, eating cold pizza. But even those messy, imperfect moments become cherished memories, a testament to our commitment to keep trying, to keep finding each other amidst the beautiful chaos.
Laughter, oh, how essential it is! Sometimes, my husband and I look at each other, covered in glitter glue or fielding another bizarre question from the kids, and we just burst out laughing. It's the "if you don't laugh, you'll cry" kind of laughter, but it's a powerful glue. It reminds us that we're in this together, that even the most trying moments can be lightened by a shared chuckle.
I've learned that a good belly laugh can diffuse tension quicker than a lengthy debate. It's permission to not take ourselves so seriously, to embrace the ridiculousness of life, and to remember the joy that drew us together in the first place. My husband can still make me snort-laugh, and honestly, that's one of my favorite parts of him.
If there’s one word that defines a lasting marriage, for us, it’s grace. It's the grace to forgive quickly, to apologize sincerely, and to extend understanding when frustration bubbles up. There will be days when one of you is not your best self, when words are said that shouldn't be, or actions taken out of tiredness or misunderstanding.
Those are the moments we’re called to lean into the example of God’s grace for us. To remember that love keeps no record of wrongs, and that extending patience and forgiveness isn’t just about making things right; it's about rebuilding trust and reaffirming your commitment to each other, day after imperfect day.
Our marriage today looks vastly different from the one we started. We've both changed, grown, and sometimes stumbled through different seasons – career shifts, parenting infants, then toddlers, then school-aged kids. What felt important in our 20s might not be our priority in our 30s or 40s.
Learning to grow *with* your spouse, rather than apart, is a constant dance. It requires vulnerability, asking the deeper questions, and celebrating each other’s evolving passions and dreams. It's recognizing that the person you married is still there, but they're also a beautifully evolving creation, just like you. And that journey of discovering each other anew, year after year, is one of life’s greatest adventures.
Marriage isn't a destination; it's a living, breathing thing that needs tending, nurturing, and a whole lot of prayer. It’s messy, it’s glorious, it’s challenging, and it’s profoundly rewarding. Remember, you’re not striving for perfection, but for faithfulness – to God, to your vows, and to each other.
So, keep laughing, keep talking, keep forgiving, and keep choosing love, even on the days it feels hard. Because in those quiet, everyday choices, you're not just building a life together; you're building a legacy of love, wrapped in faith and overflowing with grace. You've got this, sweet friends.
